In my role as a wedding celebrant, it concerns me that the vows made for a lifetime have a solid foundation of understanding and awareness to turn the celebration of romance into the joy of daily reality.
Here are seven keys for marriage building to reflect on as you prepare for your wedding.
1. Balance personal and professional objectives
Successful marriage partnership is built around your shared values. What do you value most in your partner? How do you envisage yourselves growing and developing with the loving you share? How do you see yourselves balancing your lives, together with your career visions? What key principles are important for you to feel safe and secure?
2. Developing your ability to communicate well
Talk to each other, and most importantly listen. Stand up for what is important for you without making your loved one wrong. Create a feeling of safety between you, and give the other space to be himself, or herself. Be open to learning something new.
3. Understanding your different love languages
Dr Gary Chapman wrote about the five love languages that couples use to express their love for each other. When differences occur, it could be because your love languages are not the same. Learn your personal love languages. Dr Chapman’s book will help you. The 5 Love Languages
4. Managing your money
More than ever, it is important that couples embarking on marriage take accountability for their finances. The old principles are good ones. Here are a few of them. Earn more than you spend. Save a little each pay day. Create a prudent reserve for when times are hard. Keep your financial house in order. Create an intention for enjoying financial health and well-being in your partnership.
5. Using differences constructively
As individuals, you are likely to experience disagreements. You can use those times to create greater understanding between each other. Be open and willing to make happiness more important than being right. Learning from conflicts will deepen and strengthen your love.
In my experience, the willingness to forgive brings out our deepest resources of loving. I have witnessed forgiveness being transformational for couples. Forgiving heals.
Read my article How To Forgive – And Be Happy Now to understand how forgiving can be effective.
7. Keeping your love alive
Take time out from your careers and family to simply be together. Find creative ways of touching and being tender towards each other. Even in the busiest of days, remember to connect with the loving you share. It will grow.
This reading speaks to the value of time together alone.
A Walled Garden, author unknown
‘Your marriage’, he said, ‘Should have within it a secret and protected space, open to you alone.
Imagine it to be a walled garden,
entered by a door to which you only hold the key.
Within this garden you will cease to be a mother, father, employee, homemaker or any other of the roles which you fulfill in daily life.
Here you are yourselves, two people who love each other.
Here you can concentrate on one another’s needs.’
Acknowledge and praise each other for your achievements. Notice and appreciate the sweet qualities – and quirky ones – you love in your beloved. Do so often. Gratitude will amplify your bond.
The marriage journey embarks with a wedding celebration of great hope for the future. The practical tools of understanding and preparation can turn this dream into a treasured reality.
What keys have you found indispensable for happiness in your marriage? I would love to know. Please drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment in the space below.